Saturday, November 7, 2015

Giving Thanks Day 7, or let's just knit instead

Today's post has been written, deleted and re-written about 40 times already and will most likely, be deleted and re-written at least once more.

I'm conflicted and at a total loss for words.  Imagine that - me not rambling on for page after page after page of a "short" post.

The problem is, today I feel guilty for being thankful.  My mind is numb and all I can do or think is how eternally grateful I am to have my kids and to be able to hug them.  To be able to send them crazy, "I know I'm being a helicopter parent, but I love you and please be safe and please come home" text messages and have them actually respond.

You see, a friend and co-worker doesn't have that option any more.  Her two teenaged sons lost their lives in a tragic car accident on Thursday.

And just typing that leaves me speechless and in tears.

And guilty.  Guilty for being thankful that I still have my kids.  Guilty for even sharing the information.  Blog wise, should I mention it or pretend it didn't happen and my thoughts are not consumed by what she and her family are going through?  While I consider us friends, we weren't super close.  We didn't have the opportunity.  Our jobs had us working in different areas most of the time so we didn't get the chance to interact much, but we did spend plenty of nights chatting while ironing wet money.  (Yes, that's a thing.  Part of the job is ironing wet money.  Crazy, right?)  While we weren't close enough to have shared phone numbers (and I'm speaking in past tense because the season is over and the job feels like it's in the past,) my heart breaks for you.  You and your family are in, and will remain in, my thoughts and prayers.  And as a fellow parent.... I'm once again speechless, in tears and numb.

Meanwhile, since this is supposed to be a blog about knitting,

fingerless gloves, fingerless mitts, arm warmers for sale at
OTN, fingerless gloves

And once again, I'm conflicted.  Should I delete all that?  Again?  Should I just make up some dumb, meaningless thing to be thankful for today and simply show the OTN photo?  Probably.  But I won't because I want to give thanks for the things I'm truly thankful for.  Even if they make me feel a little bit guilty.

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