The idea came about after reading several (thousand, it feels like) books on what/how to blog and/or creatively write about. One of the suggested topics was "Your Greatest Humiliations." I think the author of that book thought I might have had two, maybe three, great humiliations over the course of my life. Obviously, that author does not know me. I seem to humiliate myself on a daily basis. I'm a total klutz. I can't remember names, even my best friend's name most of the time. That's always awkward! I was born with my foot in my mouth so I'm constantly saying things I shouldn't. I lock myself out of the house. I forget my wallet.... So, okay, you get the picture. I don't need to babble on about the massive ways I can easily humiliate myself. Luckily, I'm also capable of laughing at myself.
So, in honor of my son's 19th birthday tomorrow, I thought I'd share one humiliating experience revolving around his birth. And believe me, there were a LOT of humiliating experiences centered around his introduction into this world. I could write a book! But today, let's talk about learning to breast feed. Always a fun (and potentially embarrassing) topic!
So, there I was, hanging out in the hospital after delivering my first child by c-section. I was still hooked to IV's & catheters and all kinds of fun stuff. I was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to breast feed my new bouncing baby boy (who was so big [10.5 lbs] he won the prize for largest newborn in the hospital.) A male nurse was in the room checking on my beeps & drips and apparently noticed I was struggling. With absolutely no other warning, he simply said, "Here," grabbed my breast with one hand & the baby's head with the other & smashed the two together. Luckily, it worked! But because of the embarrassment of this strange guy grabbing my boob, it took me a few minutes to realize that the squawking baby wasn't squawking anymore & was instead happily
Happy Birthday, Zack. It's been a fun & exciting 19 years & I look forward to the next 19.