Tuesday, December 13, 2016

All I want for Christmas

I've been feeling a little guilty about my Christmas list this year.  When you ask my daughter or husband what they want for Christmas, their only response is, "Harsher punishment for parole violators.  And world peace."  It drives me insane.  Meanwhile, my list is over hear looking like a new computer, a new TV, a new used car for me or my daughter so that we no longer have to share, a book or two, Season 3 of Vikings, a new desk lamp, those candle sticks I saw at Pier One and a yarn shop's worth of yarn and knitting tools.

uncoordinated Christmas accidents.

But I've changed my mind.  All I really want is some coordination.

So, the other day, I was home alone, had the music blaring while I did some much needed housework.  As I was carrying a huge load of laundry down the stairs, Time Warp came on and I automatically went into dance mode.  I managed the jump to the left and the step to the right just fine, but when I went to  pelvic thrust, I thrust myself face first down the steps.  Good thing I had such a large load of laundry in my arms.  It padded my fall.

Good grief.

And if having to explain that I'm scraped & bruised because I pelvic thrust myself down the stairs wasn't bad enough, the next day I yanked my thumb nail off with a cheese grader.  A cheese grader!  Good Lord!

Please Santa, please.  All I ask is for an ounce of coordination.

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